Your Triggers are Your Responsibility
Your Triggers Are Your Responsibility!
In all aspects of our lives, including in the world of competitive equestrian sports, emotions can run incredibly high.
This was starkly illustrated in the Paris Olympics 2024, where we witnessed two significant incidents: Firstly, the disqualification and 6 months ban by the FEI of Charlotte Dujardin for excessively hitting a pupil's horse in a previous training session, which hit the news headlines. Secondly, and also in the Olympics the Italian rider Emiliano Portale was eliminated from the eventing dressage due to his horse having blood in its mouth.
Previously in March this year Scottish Show-jumper was suspended by the FEI for rapping his horse and in 2022 Mark Todd came under the spotlight and criticised for hitting a pupil’s horse with a branch in a training session. We can probably all list more examples.
These situations highlight an essential lesson for all of us, inside and outside the arena: our triggers are our responsibility.
It’s easy to see these athletes as villains, but the truth is, we all have moments when our emotions (impatience, frustration, anger, fear, nerves etc) get the better of us. This does not mean I condone what they have done - I don’t and I’m glad that they’ve been called out.
The critical difference lies in how we handle these triggers. When something sets us off, it can be tempting to react impulsively, often leading to regrettable actions. The responsibility we bear, especially as leaders or role models, is to manage and channel these emotions constructively.
As a rider, competitor and trainer, I know from personal experience and tell some of my clients that the pressure of competing or performing can magnify our triggers. However, teaching self-awareness and emotional regulation is key. Here are some strategies we can adopt:
1. Recognise Your Triggers: The first step is awareness. Understand what situations, behaviours, or outcomes trigger you, and what emotion you then feel (see pic below of the emotional scale).
For instance, feeling frustrated by a horse’s inconsistent performance or slow progress can lead to us blaming the horse and ride with unnecessary harshness as a result.
Triggers can of course come from elsewhere in our lives and then our associated emotions be acted out when your with your horse. Such as:
The pressure to perform / the need to be perfect, can also lead anxiety and frustration. Most of us are trying to hard when we ride, AND trying to impress others!
Mood swings caused by hormonal imbalance in young riders going through puberty, or women going through the peri-menopause for example. I certainly know about peri-menopause mood swings, and my horses pointed them out to me, by refusing to come near me when I was in a negative mood swing! I don’t blame them! I've since got help with balancing my hormones.
Being in an abusive environment or relationships, where you are not demonstrated positive behviours and emotions by people who you are being influenced by; such as your family, teachers, empolyers, other personal relationships or being taught by harsh riding instructors. I’ve had more than one instructor take a whip to my horse when I was riding as CD did, it was horrible - and at the time I didn’t have the courage to stand up for my horse!! I’ve since found more peace in my life and a kinder more holistic way of riding.
2. Take a Pause: When you feel the onset of a trigger, take a moment to pause and breathe. A few deep breaths can help calm the immediate emotional surge, allowing you to think more rationally. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a break in a training session or lesson, to allow yourself and your horse to 'take 5'. Or to get off and stop when hacking. This allows you to gather your thoughts, especially if you and your horse are confused about learning new things or experiencing something scary.
There is also nothing wrong with doing shorter training sessions to suit both you and your horse's attention span.
They say a human beings attention span ranges from 2 seconds to 20 minutes (depending on age), and then we push ourselves and our horses to concentrate and work hard, usually without a break for 60 minuets in a lesson. So take a break!
3. Reflect on Consequences: Consider the potential outcomes of your reactions. In the heat of the moment, taking a step back to think about the longer-term impact on both the horse (loss of trust and fear) and your career can be sobering.
Charlotte Dujardin being called out, pulling out of the Olympics and banned for 6 months will clearly be a wake up call for her, and she’s now lost a sponsor. Hopefully this will also be a wake up call for all other riders at all levels.
Just because ‘breaking’ horses with harsh treatment, harsh riding techniques and whipping them hard if they didn’t do asked was accepted in the past, doesn’t mean that it’s right. Sadly this bullying behaviour still occurs in some areas of the equestrian world as it gets faster results. But there is a better way - which requires patience and kindness.
4. Develop Coping Mechanisms: Practice coping strategies such as mindfulness, visualisation, meditation, deep breathing, or even speaking to a coach or mentor. Having a go-to method for managing stress can prevent knee-jerk reactions.
As a retired Army Officer, whose stress levels were causing a lot of health issues when I was leaving the Army in 2015, I’ve had to do a lot of work on myself to manage and decrease my stress levels and so reduce my triggers. Step 1 was recognising that I was stressed and being triggered - by past toxic relationships and the need to be perfect!
Additionally take time to understand your horse(s) - what makes them tick, and react to situations. Remember our horses (as prey animals) have superior vision to ours and they can hear sounds 4km away. So your spooky horse - which maybe a source of frustration- may have seen and heard something we were totally unaware of. But so many times we hear frustrated riders calling their horse’s names for being spooky - I’ve been that rider too!!
5. Responsibility and Accountability: Finally, take responsibility for your actions. If you do lose control, own up to it, and learn from the experience. This mindset not only fosters personal growth but also sets a positive example for others. We’ve all made mistakes, that’s life, but learning from them and not repeating them is the key to improving.
Ultimately, our emotional responses are within our control. By managing our triggers, we create a healthier, more respectful environment for our horses, our students, and ourselves. Let’s embrace this responsibility and strive to be better, both in the arena and in our everyday lives.
Horses can teach us so much about ourselves, and help us improve as people, as long as we are prepared to listen to them.
The Equestrian world is in the spot light - justifiably so - but we can bring about positive change, with kinder, holistic and more horse centric ways of training and riding horses. We can do this!
